Domestic Violence Registry

Individuals who have been convicted of domestic violence have been punished by prison terms and probation. They have also been sentenced to enroll in anger management and therapy as a way to potentially be rehabilitated. With the high number of repeat offenders, however, it’s apparent that the punishments and programs currently implemented aren’t working. A new approach to punish offenders and prevent potential victims from being abused is being discussed in the county of Suffolk, NY; whether or not to create an online domestic violence offender registry.[1]


[2]
Currently, there are registries that provide information on domestic violence offenders, but that information is only available to law enforcement personnel.[3] The proposed legislation in Suffolk County aims to create a registry that is available to everyone, much like that of Meagan’s Law in California which outs sex offenders. The registry would list the offenders name, provide his/her address and display a current photo.

There are positive and negative components to this proposed legislation. One of the arguments supporting it is that gives individuals seeking a new relationship some background on the person they’re interested in. This is especially important with the growing popularity of on-line dating. Would-be victims may have the opportunity to check the registry to find out if they are about to jump into a relationship with an individual who has a violent past. The registry could prevent countless occurrences and even save lives. An argument to this point is that, much like the Megan’s Law registry, it may create a false sense of security. A woman may have checked the registry for the name a man gave her and be relieved that she didn’t find anything negative in his background. However, the man could easily have provided her a fictitious name. On-line dating provides individuals the opportunity to create a completely different identity; they can portray themselves as whatever they think others want them to be.

Another argument supporting the online domestic violence registration leans more toward punishment than recidivism; it would create a feeling of shame and embarrassment to the offender.[4] A domestic dispute can erupt from the slightest thing: money issues, jealousy, name-calling, a simple misunderstandings, etc. Therefore, offenders more than likely don’t have the opportunity to weigh the consequences before their actions. Heat-of-the-moment occurrences reduce the probability that the passing of this legislation will act as a deterrent, but at the very least, the offender’s reputation will be effected. S/he will be known by anyone who looks up his/her name as an abusive individual. An argument to this would be that once an offender is on the registry, there’s nothing preventing him/her from continuing the abusive behavior other than the punishments currently in place, which have also shown not to work. Moreover, the offender may retaliate against his/her victim for reporting the incident which led to him/her being placed on the registry.[5]

The legislation for a registry of domestic violence offenders is well intentioned, but there seem to be more negative arguments than positive ones. Perhaps it would be more attractive with some modifications. For example, the registry shouldn’t simply show that an individual is an offender and leave it at that; this leaves his actual offense up to the imagination of whoever’s researching him. A better approach would be to detail the incident that put him on the list so the public knows precisely what he did. Without such an explanation, he would be unfairly labeled as a man who committed a horrific crime. In actuality, the crime was probably much less severe than the public’s assumptions.

Another modification to the legislation would be to place each offender on the registry for a specified amount of time; a probation period. If by the end of their probation they have gone without another violent offense, of any kind, they should be taken off the registry. If at any time, during their probation period or after, they are convicted of another violent offense, they should be permanently placed on the registry. This would give them incentive to change their behavior, thereby adding a deterrent factor to the legislation.

[1] http://www.newsday.com/long-island/suffolk/domestic-violence-abuser-list-proposed-for-suffolk-1.1630202
[2] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KxTpOkQK1g0
[3] http://www.judiciary.state.nj.us/family/fam-06.htm%23registry
[4] http://wcbstv.com/topstories/domestic.violence.registry.2.1239337.html
[5] http://www.newsday.com/long-island/suffolk/domestic-violence-abuser-list-proposed-for-suffolk-1.1630202

DV Prevention

Many programs and punishments have been implemented as a way to reform perpetrators of domestic violence, as well as to help victims: we’ve placed abusive individuals in jail, sentenced them to mandatory anger management and couples therapy, and even evaluated them psychologically to find why they abuse. Although these tactics have proven beneficial for a handful, most of these perpetrators continue to abuse their partners. Moreover, 66 percent of the victims of domestic violence in 2008/2009 in the United Kingdom (UK), according to the British Crime Survey/CPS, were repeat victims.[1] It is apparent that the majority of violators and victims of domestic violence are not affected by any kind of current punishment or program. Perhaps a better way to approach the problem of domestic violence is to prevent it from occurring in the first place.

On November 25, 2009, the British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) published a story detailing one of their plans to prevent domestic violence in the UK. “Every school pupil in England is to be taught that domestic violence against women and girls is unacceptable.”[2] This is a government strategy aiming to lower the occurrence of violence that may potentially infect these pupils’ lives in the future. Under this plan, children will be taught from the age of five to prevent violent relationships. At this young age, it’s unlikely that any violent behavior they’ve engaged in is gender-specific, or has anything to do with power and control (which is noted as one of the main reasons people commit domestic violence in a previous blog, “Why They Abuse”). Rather, it more than likely has to do with a bully on the playground, or perhaps stems from a child being excluded from an activity, leaving them feeling alone and angry. Whatever the reason for playground violence, the faculty will be more equipped with the knowledge to teach their kids to prevent bullying and name-calling. These children will be taught to share and not to exclude anyone from any activity for any reason. The goal is to carry this behavior into their adult relationships. Of course, the instructors will be trained to appropriately teach the age-level student which occupies his/her classroom. “The appropriateness of what you do with someone who is five years old is totally different in terms of content and how you will be taught to someone who is 15 or 16.”[3]

This government strategy to prevent domestic violence makes as good of sense as any; the younger a child and the more frequent s/he is taught good morals and behavior, the more that behavior will be ingrained in his/her character. However, there are some critics to this strategy. Margaret Morrissey, of the Parents Outloud campaign group, argues that “this political correctness is turning our children into confused mini-adults from the age of five to nine.”[4] In her view, children should be taught to read and write instead of focusing on the things that should be taught by the child’s family. Anastasia de Waal, director of family and education at the think-tank Civitas, makes the same type of arguments. She believes that domestic violence is a huge problem and that something needs to be done to prevent it, but that the classroom is not the place to teach that. She points out that domestic violence is the product of dysfunctional families and poor educations. “There is a link between family dysfunction and domestic violence and the best way of tackling that is to make sure kids have a good education." Highly educated media figures have shown, however, that Waal’s belief is inaccurate. For example, New York State Senator Hiram Monserrate was charged with domestic violence in September, 2009.[5] Although he is an intelligent man, spent time in the military, the NYPD and the Senate, he lacked the tools to avoid violence with his companion. It’s impossible to say whether this would have happened had domestic violence prevention been part of the curriculum during his school tenure, but there is nothing negative that would have carried into his adult relationships as a result of these teachings.
Perhaps the only sound argument for keeping the prevention of domestic violence out of the curriculum comes from the standpoint of the teachers. They feel that they are being held responsible for solving all of society’s problems, but they just don’t have the resources to add anything else. John Dunford, head of the Association of School and College Leaders (ASCL), argues that domestic violence is an important issue, but that the school curriculum is already overcrowded. "The curriculum is over-stuffed at the moment. Teachers are not able to focus on the things that make a difference. By adding another subject, you are in danger of over-burdening teachers.”[6]
The prevention of domestic violence is crucial for a long-term change. Although there are compelling arguments against bringing the issue into the public schools’ curriculum, it’s important to prepare children for their future relationships. A good education is vital for success, but so are good relationships. Children need to be taught that relationships should be based on equality and respect at a young age. They need to be taught about healthy relationships so they have the skills to develop their own in the future. Some children are lucky enough to get this lesson at home; not all are as fortunate.



[1] http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/8376943.stm
[2] Ibid.
[3] Ibid.
[4] Ibid.
[5] http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/22/nyregion/22monserrate.html
[6] http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/education/8378341.stm

DV in Same Sex Relationships

Whether domestic violence occurs in a heterosexual or homosexual relationship, it is a very serious issue. Domestic violence in same-sex relationships doesn’t get nearly as much attention as it does in heterosexual relationships, but the reality is that the rate of violence is roughly the same.[1] Why, then, does it seem like such a non-issue?

One of the reasons domestic violence is so down-played in same-sex relationships is because there are so few reported incidents. Reporting an incident to the police can be very difficult to do, so the victims often remain silent. Because of this, domestic violence in same-sex relationships, just as in heterosexual ones, is largely underreported.[2] Though domestic violence victims of all sexual orientations share some of the same reasons for not reporting the incident, gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender victims have some of their own reasons.

One of the main reasons that victims of domestic violence in same-sex relationships don’t report the incident is the fear that nobody will listen. Moreover, they’re afraid of what might happen to them if a report is made. It isn’t so much a physical retaliation that’s feared (although that, too, is an issue); it’s the fear of abandonment and isolation.[3] This especially holds true in smaller communities where being gay is uncommon, therefore less understood. “Gay people are very isolated outside of big cities, and sensitivities to certain issues are different in certain areas of the country.”[4] In small towns where gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgender are already isolated, victims fear that if they report the one person who accepts them, they won’t have anyone else to turn to.

When these low-tolerant communities receive a report that a gay man beat up his boyfriend, it won’t be treated with the same level of importance and urgency as perhaps a female victim in a heterosexual relationship. With this in the back of a victim’s mind, reporting an incident is a lose-lose scenario. They have the choice of reporting the incident with the probability of nothing being done about it, further isolating himself/herself from the community. If they don’t report it, they hold on to the hope that their boyfriend/girlfriend will change. They may continue to be abused, but at least they won’t feel completely abandoned.

Gay and lesbian couples experience the same issues of power and control as heterosexual couples.[5] One of the ways that the batters in these relationships maintain control is by playing on the victim’s emotions. Emotional abuse is, after all, a form of domestic abuse. Take this for example: many victims of domestic violence in the gay and lesbian community are in their first same-sex relationships. Often times, they keep their sexual orientation a secret from friends, family, coworkers, or anyone else they feel ashamed of telling. They may be embarrassed and only carry on their relationship in private. As a method of controlling his/her partner, the batterer may threaten to “out” the victim if s/he doesn’t keep quiet about the abuse.[6] Victims in these circumstances are more afraid of being “outed” then they are of future abuse. They are so afraid of being judged and, as previously stated, isolated by their friends and family, that they will do whatever the batter says, adding to the number of unreported incidents.


[7]

Another reason domestic violence is so down-played in same-sex relationships is because when we think of two people of the same sex fighting, we think of it as a fair fight between equals. We have the false assumption that two people of the same gender have no power differences.[8] For this reason, an abusive man might believe that there’s nothing wrong with hitting his boyfriend. When violence is perpetrated by a man on a woman, the automatic assumption is that the man is much larger and stronger, therefore the beating she received must have been severe. In contrast, we assume that a man who’s battered by his wife should be able to defend himself. We assume that he’s probably just annoyed; how can a woman that small really hurt a man that large? In the same sense as male victims in heterosexual relationships, we tend to think that violence between two individuals of the same sex is more of a lover’s quarrel than anything else.

Domestic violence in same-sex relationships doesn’t get nearly the amount of attention as violence in heterosexual relationships, but it’s just as big of a problem and needs to be addressed.





[1] http://www.aardvarc.org/dv/gay.shtml

[2] http://www.aardvarc.org/dv/gay.shtml

[3] http://ssdv.acon.org.au/information/mythsandfacts.php
[4] http://news.medill.northwestern.edu/chicago/news.aspx?id=143833
[5] http://current.com/items/89026025_the-myth-of-domestic-violence-in-same-sex-couples.htm
[6] http://www.aardvarc.org/dv/gay.shtml
[7] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lA2yti9pc7o
[8] http://pn.psychiatryonline.org/cgi/content/full/37/12/22

Think About the Children

Domestic violence has an affect on all children who have witnessed it. For a child to witness his mother abused by his father, a man whom he’s supposed to admire, is a traumatic experience. The child may lose respect and become fearful of him. He may grow to resent him for putting his mother through so much pain. Moreover, he may grow to be disappointed in his mother for putting up with so much abuse and subjecting him to the violence. There are many degrees in which children are effected by witnessing domestic violence. No matter how severe it is, all of these children are affected in one way or another.

Typically, the best way to learn something new is through example. If someone wants to learn to rebuild a motor, demonstration is the quickest way to pick it up. This is also relevant subconsciously. If something is being said or done over and over again, it’s going to be embedded in the mind of whoever’s listening or observing, regardless of whether it’s something the individual sought to learn. Children that are put in this situation, depending on their age, are even more influenced by example; the younger they are, the less ability they have to reason. Unfortunately, domestic violence is no exception to this rule. The more a child witnesses violent behavior, the more s/he is taught that it is acceptable and appropriate. A 1981 study shows that “male batterers are much more likely than others to have grown up in homes where adult domestic violence was occurring.”[1] Women who are victims of domestic violence are more likely to have grown up in abusive households as well. A child who routinely watches her mother get abused grows up thinking that some level of violence is part of a normal relationship.


[2]

Although it’s apparent that an abusive man may have been subject to violence growing up, the effect on him may have been evident as early on as infancy. For example, an infant raised in an environment such as this may have disruptions in his eating and sleeping schedules. This is due to the stress an infant experiences by constantly hearing loud noises, such as yelling and screaming, as well as vivid visual images associated with violence. The stressful environment may also affect the parent-child bonding. The constant fighting back and forth between the parents prevents them from consistently responding to the infant’s needs.[3]

The effect of domestic violence on a child’s life grows more apparent with his/her age. As early as elementary school, these children engage in antisocial behavior that is so out of the ordinary that a person with even limited child exposure would know that something must be going on behind closed doors. Boys generally demonstrate externalized behaviors, such as fighting, disobedience and even destruction of property. Girls typically internalize their stress, which causes depression, anxiety, somatic complaints and withdrawal.[4] The coping strategy of young girls and boys remains basically the same throughout their adolescents; even into adulthood. However, they graduate to more drastic levels of the behavior. They may become more of a disruption at school to get the attention they crave and fail to get from their parents. They may even be more inclined to do drugs and drink alcohol as a means to escape what they’re going through at home. They’ll start failing to do their homework, and some won’t go to school at all. Instead, they’ll ditch classes to hang out with friends that give them attention and comfort. As a means to fulfill the void of a close bond with parents, some young boys seek surrogate families, such as gangs and other “clicks” with antisocial tendencies.[5] These children also may begin to accept violence in relationships and, based on the examples they’ve been given at home throughout their lives, grow up believing that violence is an acceptable form of conflict resolution.

The point here is that the effects of domestic violence on children varies in every situation. Some children react differently than others. Their behavior may be more or less disrupting, their emotions more guarded; but they are all effected negatively. While the child’s mother may be the only battered individual in the household, she’s not the only victim.


[1] O’Leary, D.K. and A. Rosenbaum. Children: The Unintended Victims of Marital Violence. American Journal of Orthopsychiatry. 1981.
[2] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJF50kwwRJE&feature=related
[3] http://www.lfcc.on.ca/HCT_SWASM_19.html
[4] Deaton, Wendy and Michael Hertica. A Therapist’s Guide to Growing Free: A Manual for Survivors of Domestic Violence. The Haworth Maltreatment and Trauma Press. Binghamton, NY. 2001 (p.54)
[5] Deaton, Wendy and Michael Hertica. A Therapist’s Guide to Growing Free: A Manual for Survivors of Domestic Violence. The Haworth Maltreatment and Trauma Press. Binghamton, NY. 2001 (p.55)

Battered Men: The Unspoken Victims

[1]

When we hear about a domestic violence dispute, we automatically jump to the conclusion that a woman’s husband or boyfriend must have beaten her up. We don’t need to hear any facts or details surrounding the situation; we already know which party plays which role. Although it’s safe to say that a woman is the victim of domestic violence more often than not, that’s not always the case. It’s rare that we hear about it, but men too fall victim to this intimate crime.

Men become victims of domestic violence far more often than one might think. In a study done by the U.S. Department of Justice in 2001, they concluded that an estimated 103,220 men claimed victim of domestic abuse.[2] Compared to the 588,490 estimated female victims that same year, that figure seems pretty miniscule. However, something that needs to be taken into consideration is the amount of incidents that go unreported. Both male and female victims fail to report violent incidents for a variety of reasons, but there are more male victims that refuse to alert the authorities than there are female victims who fail to do so.

One of the reasons a man might decide against reporting a violent domestic dispute is because he believes the responding officers aren’t going to listen to him. He knows that when the officers show up on the doorstep and they see the size difference between he and his wife, they’ll think it’s a situation he should have been able to handle himself. Moreover, if he shows a bruise or a cut along his face, he believes that the officers will likely think the injury was from work or sports or something completely unrelated.[3] After all, it’s the public perception that women aren’t that aggressive; it’s not lady-like. He believes the officers won’t do anything more than show up; they’ll respond to the call, tell everyone to calm down and then leave. This then provokes his wife, thereby creating an even more hostile environment. A man with this mindset declines reporting the incident to avoid digging his hole deeper.

Another reason a man might decide against calling the police is that, worse than the officers not doing anything, he fears he will be the one getting arrested.[4] As noted above, the man may already think the officers won’t believe that his wife or girlfriend, conveniently half his size, physically abused him. Even more discouraging is his assumption that the officers are going to take the woman’s side over his, overlooking the bruises and other physical evidence by acting solely on stereotypical gender roles. The victim may fear that out of spite for calling the police, his abusive girlfriend will play the victim role by flipping the facts around, thereby making him the batterer. Due to public perception of women being the likely victim in these types of situations, his fear becomes a reality when the officers arrest him for the crime. Just as he thought, he never should have reported the incident.


Perhaps the most prevalent reason so many battered men choose to remain silent on the issue is because they feel shame and embarrassment. In a sense, they feel that they’ve failed as a boyfriend/husband. They don’t know how to make the women they’re with happy, so they are emasculated. For many of them, they feel that a “real man” would be able to keep his woman in check. Moreover, the embarrassment of getting beaten on by a woman can quickly wound an ego. These men feel the shame of not being able to keep their girlfriends/wives under control, thereby making them feel like less of a man. Looking at the situation in this point of view, why would they want others to look at them the way they look at themselves? This also adds to the above issue of fearing arrest. Just like most people in our society, police officers share these traditional gender role expectations that a man should be in control of his relationship. “This adds to the legal and regulatory presumption that the offender is a man. As a result, the police are reluctant to arrest women for domestic assault.”

The reasons why men don’t broadcast being abused by their girlfriends and wives have to do with pride, the belief that nobody will listen, and shame. They also share some of the same reasons women don’t report abusive incidents: self worth, reluctance to give up the good with the bad, inertia and denial. It’s taken years of advocacy and support to encourage women to report domestic violence, but nothing’s really been done to encourage men to report abuse.[5] Although women are less often the abusers, these unspoken victims need to be heard.



[1] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NomPlNWeIV8&feature=related
[2] http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/pub/pdf/ipv01.pdf
[3] http://www.oregoncounseling.org/Handouts/DomesticViolenceMen.htm
[4] http://www.menweb.org/battered/bathelpwhymen.htm
[5] http://www.oregoncounseling.org/Handouts/DomesticViolenceMen.htm

Why They Abuse

Most people, batterers included, know that domestic violence is wrong. The same can be said about other crimes committed by individuals who are knowingly violating the law. The major difference here, however, is the personal nature of domestic violence. People make the choice to initially get involved with their spouses. They start dating and decide if that person is a fit. If the answer is yes, they choose to move in together and often choose to start a family; they fall in love. What is it, then, that would make somebody do something so unloving as to inflict physical pain upon the person they choose to be with?

There are several different arguments as to why an individual may become violent. Some experts have found that interpersonal violence is learned and transmitted from one generation to the next. Studies have demonstrated that children who are raised by aggressive parents tend to grow up to be aggressive adults (investigation book). This is one of the major factors contributing to the continuing violence within particular families. By nature, we learn by example. A kid who witnesses his dad knock his mom across the room because she refused to do something may grow up thinking, “So that’s how I get my girl to do what I tell her.” For this reason, among others, boys who witness domestic violence are twice as likely to abuse their own partners and children when they become adults.[1]

It is a traumatic thing for a child to witness his/her parents hit each other. However, the more frequently these fights occur, the more immune to them the child becomes. Over time, the child becomes numb and views the behavior as a normal occurrence. It’s reasonable to expect that some of these children grow up with the mindset that this violent behavior is expected, and that a fight is the only way to get the point across.

Another contributing factor to domestic violence is more psychological; it deals with the idea of power and control. These batterers, who tend to be men more often than not, view their role as “man of the house” more primitively than most. They believe that as men, they need to express their own dominance, both vocally and physically. They believe they should be in charge of all aspects of the relationship.[2] These types of abusers have a psychological need to get what they want when they want it. If for any reason things don’t go the way it was envisioned, a physical consequence is likely to follow.

A more extreme psychological view deals with people who physically control their family members for the sheer pleasure of doing it. A batterer of this type, who has gone through treatment, was quoted as saying: “The beatings, the verbal abuse and the intimidation were all about control. It was like having a new toy. I had the buttons and I could make her do whatever I wanted. I was trying to intimidate her. I wanted to control her for the simple reason that I knew I could do it. It made me feel powerful.” [3]
Every man who commits domestic violence has an excuse, but the bottom line is that the abusers believe they have a right to control the women.[4] Whether the behavior is learned or if it’s more psychological, people need to realize that this type of violence isn’t a circumstance or a situation; it’s a characteristic.

[1] http://www.ncadv.org/files/DomesticViolenceFactSheet(National).pdf
[2] http://alcoholism.about.com/cs/abuse/a/990407.htm

[3] http://alcoholism.about.com/cs/abuse/a/990407.htm

[4] http://alcoholism.about.com/gi/o.htm?zi=1/XJ&zTi=1&sdn=alcoholism&cdn=health&tm=339&gps=327_711_1131_713&f=00&su=p284.9.336.ip_p736.8.336.ip_&tt=2&bt=1&bts=1&zu=http%3A//www.leavingabuse.com/cycle_of_abuse.html

Why Victims Stay

When people know that a stove is hot, they avoid resting their hands on it. In the same sense, we don’t order plates that we know to be the worst tasting items on the menu. It’s in our nature to stay away from the things that hurt and are displeasing to us. Why then is it that some victims in violent relationships continue going back to their abusers time and again?










http://www.youtube.com/v/bh5OnXnRtxg&hl=en&fs=1&">[1]

Women stay in abusive relationships for a variety of reasons. One is that she feels her abuser is truly remorseful for what he did; she believes when he says it won’t happen again. Depending on the severity and the frequency of the assault, it could be more or less difficult to forgive and forget. For example, most relationships consist of a minimal amount of back talk and bickering. The one time an argument escalates into a physical confrontation may be so out of the ordinary that an apology for the behavior will suffice; “let’s get over it and move on.” Because the abuse was so uncharacteristic, the victim believes that her batterer is sorry; that it won’t happen again. However, the more frequent this behavior becomes, the more she will question his sincerity. It soon becomes a regular and expected occurrence, or what’s been referred to as the “Cycle of Abuse.”[2]


The cycle of abuse depicts a pattern often experienced in abusive relationships. There are three different stages in this cycle: the tension building stage, the battering stage and the honeymoon stage.[3] In the tension building stage, stress levels rise in the abuser and he becomes upset. He starts to engage in minor acts of abuse, such as name-calling and threats. It’s also common for the individual to hit and break things as a way to release frustration. The victim wants to ease the tension, but she also feels like she has to “walk on eggshells” to avoid doing or saying something that may make matters worse. The situation quickly escalates to the battering stage, which is pretty self explanatory; the abuser engages in some form of violent physical conduct to display power and control over his victim. When he wants to bring peace back into the home, he begins to manipulate the victim. He apologizes for his conduct and says that it will never happen again. He makes excuses for the behavior and makes the victim feel that it was less severe than it really was. He says and does things for the victim to make her believe the apology is sincere. This is the honeymoon phase. Everything in the relationship seems perfect until the cycle begins again.

As an outsider looking in, it seems like the problem of domestic violence has an easy solution; “just leave the relationship.” Although the lucky ones will leave before more damage is done, some have other reasons to justify staying. A woman’s childhood, for example, could have an impact on her decision to stay.[4] A woman who grows up watching her mother get beaten may think that violence is part of a natural relationship. Similarly, a woman who has been in nothing but abusive relationships may come to the conclusion that getting hit is normal. So, in their minds, they’re going to get hit no matter who they’re with. Why leave an abusive man with whom so much time and energy has been invested, just to begin an abusive relationship with someone new?

Another reason a woman will choose to stay in an abusive relationships is fear.[5] She may fear that her abuser will somehow retaliate against her for getting the police involved in their dispute, or for “abandoning” the relationship (this also has an impact on the amount of incidents that go unreported). Moreover, if there’s a child in common, there is fear of retaliation upon him/her. Often times, a woman in this situation will choose to stay in the abusive relationship just for her child’s sake. She may realize that the courts are going to grant visitation rights to her attacker. The only way for her to protect her child is to not leave him/her with his/her abusive father. So she stays in the relationship to sacrifice herself for her child.

Perhaps one of the biggest fears a woman has when leaving an abusive relationship is fear of the unknown. For such a long time, she has relied on her spouse to care for her, to love her, to pay the bills, to protect her, etc. The thought of making it on her own seems impossible after relying on him for everything. How is she going to feed her children? Who’s going to give her a job with no prior work experience? How’s she going to continue paying the mortgage? Who’s going to take care of the things that she’s never had to worry about doing on her own? These are all very real concerns that brew in the minds of women in these situations. There are answers; some women just don’t know where to find them.






[1] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bh5OnXnRtxg
[2] http://www.casainc.org/domestic.html
[3] http://www.thans.ca/Content/ViolenceAbuse
[4] http://www.leavingabuse.com/why_women_stay.html
[5] http://www.leavingabuse.com/why_women_stay.html

Affect and Awareness

Domestic Violence is known to California attorneys and law enforcement personnel as PC 273.5. It is an extremely common occurrence within households all across the world. Most often the violence is the result of an escalated argument. There are other factors that trigger an individual to engage in this type of behavior as well. Before touching upon the various speculated reasons why domestic violence occurs, however, it’s important to realize just how big of a problem it really is. So, what exactly is domestic violence and how does it affect people in our society?

The California Penal Code defines domestic violence as: “Any person who willfully inflicts upon a person who is his or her spouse, formal spouse, cohabitant, former cohabitant, or the mother or father of his or her child, corporal injury resulting in a traumatic condition…”[1] Essentially, this reads that an individual is in violation of PC 273.5 when s/he does something to intentionally inflict injury upon an individual with whom s/he has (or has had) a romantic relationship. This may include current or former spouses or dating partners, a person with whom s/he has lived with, or a relative by blood, marriage or adoption. Of course other charges may apply as well, depending on the severity of injury and other facts in each particular case.

People have very different attitudes about domestic violence. For many of us, whenever we hear about it, we get a feeling of absolute disgust. “How in the world could someone harm the person they’re supposed to be in love with?” Others tend to ignore the issue all together. This is either because they themselves have never been affected by it, or because they put their focus and energy into other issues they feel that they actually have control over. There is another group of people still, a smaller group that has grown to accept violence within the family as a way of life. It is seen as normal to them; an everyday occurrence, like brushing their teeth. These various attitudes toward the issue of domestic violence are undoubtedly developed through an assortment of experiences in each individual’s life. They can also be shaped by what we read and hear. Just like with any other issue, most of our knowledge of what’s going on in our society is largely obtained through news sources. That then provokes thinking, discussion and debate, ultimately shaping our opinion. Unfortunately, the issue of domestic violence isn’t the hot topic in today’s media outlets unless it involves some social icon. We all know that domestic violence is real and that it’s a problem, but the lack of its exposure in headline news may be what’s prevented any meaningful progress on the issue. If people really knew how common of an occurrence this really is, perhaps attitudes would shift and something more would be done about it.

Between 1998 and 2002, the United States Department of Justice gathered data from all 50 states and drew some overwhelming statistics. Across the states, family violence accounted for 11 percent of all reported and unreported violence. Of these roughly 3.5 million violent crimes committed against family members, 49 percent were crimes against spouses.[2] “Some experts estimate that family violence accounts for more than 40 percent of all violent crime calls.”[3] These numbers are absolutely staggering, especially when considering that there are an outrageous number of incidents that go unreported and are never entered into the statistic. In July of 2004, Enrique Gracia wrote an editorial stating that “most of the cases of domestic violence are unreported.”[4]

Domestic violence is a huge problem and is inevitably going to occur no matter what is done, but perhaps it could be minimized with more main-stream attention focused on it. The more awareness and discussion about the issue, the more we will know just how wide-spread this problem is. Victims will know that they aren’t the only ones in such an unfortunate relationship, and may be less reluctant to speak out, thus teaching their abuser that it’s not an acceptable behavior.
















[1] California Penal Code: http://www.leginfo.ca.gov/cgi-bin/waisgate?WAISdocID=1871443940+8+0+0&WAISaction=retrieve
[2]U.S. Department of Justice http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/pub/pdf/fvs.pdf
[3] Strandberg, Keith W. “Reducing Family Violence.” Law Enforcement technology, VOL. 25, No. 1, January 1998, pp. 32-36
[4] http://www.pubmedcentral.nih.gov/articlerender.fcgi?artid=1732820